The Feminine Way of Setting Goals and Sticking to them.

“Set goals that scare you a little and excite you a lot!”

Whether you’re wanting to buy yourself a new car, lose some weight, get a promotion, want to run 5K, or want to make the world a better place, setting yourself goals will help you get to where you want to be. As women, we have many different roles like being a wife, mother, sister, friend, student, caretaker, entrepreneur, etc. With those roles come many tasks, to-dos, and goals. They used to drive me crazy, as I had no clear idea on what to do when, or why. Maybe you recognize trying to keep all balls flying. I was failing miserably at it, dropped some of those balls hurting myself and the people I love. Each time I was setting (too many) goals I instantly felt pressured, restricted, and confined. As a result, I didn't know where to start, became rigid, controlling, and was always rushing. On top of that I felt incredibly guilty when I was not working on reaching my goals, I felt I had to do something all the time. Until I started to set goals the feminine way... 

Trying to keep all balls flying...

GOALS VERSUS RESULTS

When I am focusing on to-do lists and I am stressing out not getting them done in time, it takes me away from myself and from my femininity. As a result, I lose my vibe, my rhythm, and get out of the zone in which I'm most productive. It's also hard to stay creative, receptive, and I don't make time for SelfCare. As I'm a big believer in Personal Development and have a high standard for the wellness lifestyle I want to lead, I needed to remember to keep in touch with my femininity when setting my goals. So, you probably want to know how to do that...

Let's look a what a goal is first. Oxford Dictionary says that a 'goal' is the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result. Most people tend to focus on the aim or efforts. Like with a bow and arrow, it helps to see your goal so you know where to point at. Goals allow you to make plans in a more linear way, you can 'shoot' in a straight line. For me, a feminine way to get things done is to focus more on the desired Result. I really get into it by imagining myself as if I already accomplished the goal. I focus on how this makes me feel and get really excited about it. The easiest way to do this is by changing your language. Instead of "This is my Goal", say: "Today I look forward to [insert Result]". With a clear Result in mind, you not only know which direction to go, but it also gets you intrinsically motivated as you to have something to look forward to.

CHOOSE YOUR GOALS CAREFULLY

Sometimes, the difficulty with setting goals isn’t in following through, but in choosing the wrong goals to begin with. Real intrinsic motivation comes from starting with asking yourself why you set your goal in the first place. What is your Ambition, what do you really want for yourself and your life? Next to that these need to be attainable goals that will help you in your pursuit of happiness, but not so big that they would never be something you can achieve. If you tell yourself you will only be happy if you reach a certain weight, you might not ever achieve that weight, which makes you feel like a failure and causes you to stop trying. However, if you have a goal of becoming healthier, eating right, and exercising more, those are goals you can accomplish. They make you feel good about yourself, which in turn gives you the motivation to continue.

TIME FRAME FOR GOALS & FLOW TOWARDS RESULTS

Time is always a tricky one because you don’t want to rush and feel like you failed when missing your deadline, but you still want to have something to aim at and look forward to. When looking at your list of goals, you'll notice that some of your goals would be better off with a specific time frame, while others are not. While you can’t control some things, others do really well within a time frame. For example, if you have a goal of organizing your office, you can create an action list of the different elements for that project, then set a time frame in which you want to complete each step of the list. The steps are easy to plan out. When your goal is to reach a specific high number of followers on your youtube channel, this would be harder to put into a specific timeframe because it's harder to control. I choose to 'flow' towards a 'Result' with a goal like this one. After visualizing and really feeling why I want this result, I stop making it about the number, but about what the Result will bring me and others. Then I take the necessary steps to be able to reach my result and start to 'Flow' towards it... It's all about trusting the process and keep taking the action steps.

ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER

A good way to stick to your goals is by becoming accountable. Don’t just keep them to yourself, but let others know about it. Tell your friends and family, post about it on social media, track your progress with a blog. These actions make you feel like you need to follow through because others are going to ask about it. It can be great motivation to continue working hard.

During the retreats we offer at Lady Leaders, everyone gets a 'Retreat Rajah'. Rajah is a beautiful Arabic girl's name meaning 'hopeful' and represents being an exemplary friend who tries hard to make sure everyone is happy and comfortable. So, more than an accountability partner, a Rajah is someone who feels like a 'Sister', someone who supports you on your way to achieve your dreams. Why not ask your bestie to be your 'Rajah' when setting your goal?

TO ACHIEVE BIG GOALS, START WITH LITTLE RITUALS

Achieving a Big Goal often requires a behavior change. In our society we’re programmed to “go big or go home,” but big goals are more weighing us down than they are motivational as they require much more effort to accomplish and sustain. Instead, the way to achieve a big transformation is to start small — through Little Rituals.

Little Rituals are small, but meaningful daily actions that turn into Healthy Habits over time. By breaking down an ambitious goal into smaller, more achievable ones that you build over a specific period of time, Little Rituals help you to complete big goals. To succeed with Little Rituals, you first identify a really small and simple healthy practice and piggyback on a daily task, so it becomes part of your regular routine. Next, track your progress and hold steady for a period of minimal 28 days before choosing a new Little Ritual to build on the next Healthy Habit.

Want help with achieving your goals? Perhaps you could use some guidance in building your own Ritual Routine? Or maybe you're ready to step into your Personal Leadership and Rock those goals? Either way, don't worry... I've got you!

Join me for my FREE MasterClass: The One Ritual, where I will share with you the One Ritual to boost your Feminine Leadership. You will also ‘meet’ the Four archetypal Ladies: The Lover, The Mother, The Queen, and The Wise, and find your natural Leadership Style. As a gift you’ll receive the Lady Logbook for free, so we can fill it in together! It’s fun and you’ll get a lot out of it!

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Let me know if you have any questions or need some help.

Remember, you're only One Little Ritual Away!

XOXO,